If I don't go diving for a long time I feel like I'm going crazy. No other outlet balances me so completely like huning in the water. I suppose other people find the same thing in other pursuits. I've tried a lot of activities but found nothing that comes close to spearfishing. Sometimes I really look forward to diving and enjoy every minute of it. At other times I get frustrated spearfishing and hate it, it becomes like hard work. But I always go back to it anyways because I don't like being the kind of person I become when I haven't been in the water for a while.
It's not so much about taking a life for me. I like the fight but I know I will win so there's no mystery there. I understand that I'm getting my rocks off at the expense of another living thing and I don't relish that idea. I guess it's a weakness of sorts but I've learned to desensitize myself or psychologically skip the killing part. It wasn't always like this for me. In the beginning I was too consumed with wanting to get the fish (which I wasn't able to do always) to care. Now that I'm confident in my skills the drive went down and gave room to compassion.








